Barack Obama Facts
From every media outlet online and on television, and from talking to his supporters, I have been able to piece together the following Barack Obama Facts. These are kind of like the Chuck Norris Facts you may find on the web, but better. Better because they are of Barack Obama.
- Barack Obama wrote every Super Bowl commercial that you liked. Republicans wrote the other ones.
- When Barack Obama goes out to lunch, he never orders sweet tea. He orders regular tea and stirs it with his finger.
- Barack Obama is a Jedi.
- While participating at a practice against the vaunted Pittsburgh Steelers’ defense, Barack Obama threw 5 touchdowns passes… to himself.
- Barack Obama protects the Secret Service.
- Once while showing off at a Joe Biden BBQ, Barack Obama picked up a charcoal bricket, squeezed it in his fist for 10 seconds, and produced a diamond.
- Barack Obama farts glitter.
- The film “The Matrix” is in fact a biographical motion picture, with Keanu Reeves portaying Barack “Neo” Obama.
- God has a bumper sticker on his car that reads “Obama is my co-pilot”.
- Barack Obama’s coolness ended Global Warming 20 minutes ago.
- In a pick-up game of 21, Barack Obama beat Michael Jordan 137 to -9.
- Barack Obama is not at all confused while watching “Lost”.
- When U.S. Airways Flight 1549 made an emergency crash landing into the Hudson river, Barack Obama walked over to the plane and made sure everyone was okay.
- Barack Obama turned down an invitation to host this year’s Academy Awards.
- Al Gore invented the internet after Barack Obama suggested it.
- If Barack Obama is looking at a woman, and he raises his left eyebrow ever slow slightly, she will climax on the spot.
- After their first debate, John McCain was cured of his arthritis after shaking hands with Barack Obama.
- For every time someone questions Barack Obama, a kitten gets thrown into a woodchipper.
Do you know a fact that isn’t listed? Have a suggestion? Or want to send me a death threat? Email me at sickofobama@gmail.com.
