Remember the dashboard Jesus from back in the day? Pretty funny to think about it now, especially since we have his equivalence in the White House. LOL! Anyway, to not offend any of your liberal Christian hating friends, lose the dashboard Jesus and replace it with something more real and powerful! Ladies and gentlmen, the Dashboard Obama!
I don’t know where you can get one because I really don’t care to ever own one. But for all you Obama kool-aid drinkers out there, I’m sure you can do the Google thing and have one shipped to you ASAP! Me? I’d rather get the hula girl. She probably could do a better job than BHO has done so far. And to be clear, I don’t mean an actual hula girl. I mean the cheap little plastic figurine could do a better job.
By the way, if you look closely, it says made in China. LOL!! Oh, the irony.
How dare you, Tiger Woods! Your adulterous ways have humiliated the great leader! Your appearance on the cover of a magazine with the chosen one is a slap to the face of America!!! Don’t you know the world hates you right now? And if they hate you and see you with our Obama, they link you two together?!?! Are you trying to destroy his reign presidency???? There is only one thing to do to redeem yourself, Tiger. Since any association with you is a bad one, you should claim to be a Republican until all this blows over. Makes sense to everyone, right?
Anyway, I’m pretty sure Tiger’s new 10 tips for BHO go something like this:
Do not get caught having affairs with 3 hot chicks.
Do not text these girls.
Do not crash into neighbor’s tree.
Do not leave these women any voicemails.
Do not leave your cell phone lying around so that your wife gets a hold of it.
Do not think you’re invincible (LOL! Just kidding. That doesn’t apply to BHO).
Do not leave golf clubs within reach of pissed off wife.
Do not talk to Florida Highway Patrol.
Do not forget to get a pre-nup!
Do not appear on the cover of a magazine with Tiger Woods.
Nothing will make the American people forget about unemployment, war, national deficit, or annoying party crashers like Oprah and Obama being together for Christmas!! It’s like they are giving back to us, the mere mortals of the worls, by being together this holiday season and then broadcasting the interview as a Christmas special on ABC. Do you feel the love from them? Such a beautiful gift! I think I speak for every person alive when I say thank you! And if there is anything you want us to do for you just say so and we will do it without asking any questions! Your wishes are our commands, your majesty’s!
So, are you going to watch Oprah’s White House special? me neither. But not because I don’t have a high opinion of Oprah or Obama, which I don’t. But because I can find so much more important things to do with my time. Like sleeping, eating, and avoiding anything Oprah Winfrey. Oprah and Obama together. Wow. That’s almost enough power to run Al Gore’s Tennessee mansion for a week. Haha! Yeah. Global Warming isn’t real. How about focusing on that, Associated Press?
Now, correct me if I’m wrong here, but I thought liberals frowned upon celebrating Christmas? And by frowned upon, I mean hate anything Christian and therefore want to destroy it. Just saying.
Oh glorious leader! You catch footballs with such ease! Why are you not starting for the Redskins? Is it because you have more important things to do like decide whether or not to send troops to Afghanistan? Or is it because you don’t want to have to play someday against your beloved Steelers? Or would you risk annoying the people of Chicago for not playing for the Bears? Especially after you cost them the 2016 Olympics? Who knows? I’m sure you have a good reason. My guess is that you simply don’t want to have to go back to Hawaii for the Pro Bowl.
Would have been cool to have seen Polamalu intercept that. Or at least make him think twice about going up the middle again.
Remember the dashboard Jesus from back in the day? Pretty funny to think about it now, especially since we have his equivalence in the White House. LOL! Anyway, to not offend any of your liberal Christian hating friends, lose the dashboard Jesus and replace it with something more real and powerful! Ladies and gentlmen, the Dashboard Obama!
Nothing will make the American people forget about unemployment, war, national deficit, or annoying party crashers like Oprah and Obama being together for Christmas!! It’s like they are giving back to us, the mere mortals of the worls, by being together this holiday season and then broadcasting the interview as a Christmas special on ABC. Do you feel the love from them? Such a beautiful gift! I think I speak for every person alive when I say thank you! And if there is anything you want us to do for you just say so and we will do it without asking any questions! Your wishes are our commands, your majesty’s!
more important things to do like decide whether or not to send troops to Afghanistan? Or is it because you don’t want to have to play someday against your beloved Steelers? Or would you risk annoying the people of Chicago for not playing for the Bears? Especially after you cost them the 2016 Olympics? Who knows? I’m sure you have a good reason. My guess is that you simply don’t want to have to go back to Hawaii for the Pro Bowl.
